Gerard A Lacey

King Of Rhymes

King of Rhymes is a laugh-out-loud poetry collection packed with sharp wit, clever wordplay, and real-life humor. Featuring hundreds of poems written over more than a decade, it transforms marriage, family, work, aging, and everyday chaos into relatable, memorable verse you’ll want to read—and share—again and again.

About the Book

King Of Rhymes

King of Rhymes is a lively, humorous poetry collection that celebrates everyday life through sharp observation, clever wordplay, and unapologetic honesty. Packed with hundreds of poems written over more than a decade, this book turns ordinary moments into laugh-out-loud reflections on marriage, relationships, aging, work, family, and the absurdities we all encounter.

At its heart, King of Rhymes thrives on relatable husband-and-wife banter, blending comedy with genuine affection. From domestic mishaps and social situations to personal growth and heartfelt reflections, the poems move effortlessly between humor and sincerity, making this collection both entertaining and surprisingly touching.

Poems

WASHED ASHORE

Our cruise ship sunk — a deserted island — who’d thunk
Stuck at sea — in the water we met

Crashing waves — one cigarette

I hunted for food — handcrafted a spear

She asked for a menu — I chugged my last beer

Handcrafted huts — no Lowe’s in sight

Bamboo walls — I crafted all night

Months have passed — separate lodging

Far from subtle — it’s me she’s dodging

Online dating — she met a gent

Her ship came in — I charge them rent

I'VE POPPED HER CORKS

And poured her wine — handpicked her grapes — right off the vine

I’ve cooked her meals — and washed her clothes

Scrubbed her floors — bought plants at Lowe’s

I weed her garden — and buy her bling

I stand and clap — when I hear her sing

Her walls I paint — and wax her car

Carry her clubs — as she makes par

I do what I’m told — her friend in the back

A brand new Pit Bull — ready to attack

His name is Get’m — enough said

She gives me a wink — as she pets his head 🤷‍♂️♂️

HER LEASE IS UP

Her Swiffer is worn — I’ll trade it in

Her heart is torn

She loved her Swiffer — she racked up the miles

Her task at hand — not always with smiles

High-end models — two-tone paint

A backup alarm — she calls me a saint

Headlights are on — high beams work great

My Swiffer Queen — now works late

SHE MEANDERS TO THE KITCHEN

Quiet as a mouse — not a creature is stirring

Such a silent house

The silence is broken — quiet it’s not

Muffled temptations — chocolates she’s got

A secret drawer — her private stash

Crinkled wrappers — hid in the trash

Back in the living room — trying not to chew

Obvious to me — my attention she drew

I strike up a conversation — it’s looking bleak

She flips me the bird — unable to speak 🤷‍♂️♂️

THE LIGHT TURNS GREEN

But no one’s going —

Cars lined up — traffic not flowing.

Horns are honking — middle fingers raised —

The light now red — and someone’s unfazed.

Once again — the light turns green —

And all at once — on horns they lean.

More cars arrive — the number just grew —

Heads out the window — more than a few.

I’ve dotted the i’s — and crossed all the T’s —

A peek in the mirror — lots of detainees.

Road rage occurs — I’ve finished my poem —

My windows are tinted — they followed me home.

Chapter 1

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Chapter 2

Inside the Pages

King Of Rhymes

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Gallery

About the Author

Gerard A Lacey

Hi all! My name is Gerard A Lacey, and I’ve been writing my poems
since about 2011. My beautiful wife Kathleen, a retired nurse, and I
have been married for 34 years, and we have 2 grown children: our
daughter Kaitlin and son Tommy. As a retired Township employee,
my writing opportunities have increased over the past 4 years or so.
This is my first book, and I hope all of you enjoy it and share my
poems at your parties and get-togethers like I did many years ago.

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Gerard A Lacey

Gerard A Lacey

King Of Rhymes

About the Book

Poems

WASHED ASHORE

I'VE POPPED HER CORKS

HER LEASE IS UP

SHE MEANDERS TO THE KITCHEN

THE LIGHT TURNS GREEN

Inside the Pages

Gallery

About the Author

Gerard A Lacey

Get Your Copy Today

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Gerard A Lacey

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